Non-verbal communication not only for managers

What does looking down or scratching your hair say about you? How to properly shake hands to show that you are interested in an equal partnership? Read our article about non-verbal communication not only in management.

Eyes and facial expressions

When we start with the eyes, mirrors to the soul, it is good to focus on making your gaze direct and not too long. Unnecessarily elongated look, on the contrary, gives the impression of aggressiveness or defiantness, it indicates a power play. You should also be careful how you end it – if you bend downwards, you are showing your submission.

You can also sense from the direction of the gaze whether a person is remembering or imagining things. If he looks to the left before answering, he is probably trying to remember something. If, on the other hand, he looks away to the right, it means that he relies on his imaginationand is probably making something up or even lying.

Probably the most striking and well-known expression of non-verbal communication is a smile. Although we can’t control it to some extent in certain situations, sometimes we can also come across a fake or nervous smile, which we recognize thanks to the eyes. Because if the smile is sincere, you can tell by the wrinkles at the outer corners of the eyes, when it is fake, only the mouth laughs, but the eyes remain stony.

Hands

We can read many things from the look in the face, but our limbs also tell a lot about us. For example, if you tend to cross your arms over your chest, you may inadvertently express a disapproving or defensive attitude. Scratching your hair or other parts of your head indicates insincerity, and any tapping or ruffling of your hair or a piece of clothing shows your nervousness or impatience.

In the same way, our legs unconsciously speak about us – if a person has them crossed, it signals a hostile or closed attitude. An interesting fact is that feet tend to turn towards your partner during conversation, so if you meet someone on the street and strike up a conversation with them, you may eventually realize that your feet are also turned towards them.

An official relationship begins with a handshake. You know that your press should be firm and reasonably long (David Lewis says about six seconds). In addition, the tilt of the hand also says a lot – if you point your palm down, you show your superiority and dominance over your partner, if, on the other hand, you point your palm up, it indicates your subordination. If you want to establish mutual equality, make sure that your palms are at a similar angle to your partner’s.

Space

The space and distance we occupy from the person is signaled by several things: the relationship between the participants (the closer we are to each other, the closer we stand to each other), personality type (extroverts don’t mind standing close, introverts the opposite), cultural norms learned in within the nation or family, the emotional side of the meeting (if it’s a friendly meeting, you stand closer to each other) and more. Edward Hall divided personal space into several zones – intimate zone (up to 45 cm), personal zone (45-120 cm), social (1.2 – 3.7 m) and public (above 3.7 m). To a large extent it depends on the person what is comfortable for them, however in general it can be said that the distance should be adapted to the given situation.

It is also important to focus on the attitude in space, although here the approaches differ not only on the basis of nationalities, but also on the basis of gender. You can notice big differences especially in the concept of personal space – women generally tend to stand closer to each other and shoot sideways, while men stand further apart and on the contrary, it is appropriate to start the conversation by standing sideways and only then to move to a frontal position. Frontal position with an unknown man can appear aggressive.

Some final tips

It is also important to focus on the so-called first impression, which according to David Lewis takes place within the first 120 seconds. When it comes to first impressions, we only get one chance, and the consequences can be permanent. It is therefore important to appear confident but not threatening and to focus on the right handshake.

Mirroring, i.e. the technique of imitation, consists in adapting the non-verbal signals of the partner’s behavior. The technique is based on the thesis that each person likes himself or people who are similar to him. The mirroring technique often takes place between loved ones and helps create a sense of belonging.

Do not stare at a person for more than three seconds unless you mean it as a threat. If you want to appear welcoming, look away downwards, if you are in an equal or dominant position, look away to the side.

If you want to indicate that you are interested in cooperation, in addition to smiling, also focus on how your arms, legs (should be open, not crossed) and head (tilting your head to the side is a signal to listen carefully to the other).

Remember to focus on your non-verbal communication even when you are sitting down. In general, it is better not to sit in deep chairs where your gestures are limited. At the same time, be careful not to stand when the other is sitting and vice versa – standing would then indicate dominance.

If you are interested in the topic of non-verbal communication, register for the course
Communication Skills within the optional subjects.